I am less than 48 hours from FET#2, and I am not feeling very hopeful at all. I just feel that there is not too much hope that these last embryos are going to be better than the others that have already failed. I find myself thinking about my next treatment options again, and about how many treatments it will take for me to be successful, and how much money it will cost, and how much of my life I have scheduled around this. It breaks my heart.
I am normally a total optimist, but I don't feel it this time. I told B the other night (in tears), and he told me that he knows it will happen one day. I wish I "knew" that - because I honestly don't know how I would deal if I find out I will never be a Mom. I just never imagined my life without kids. I know deep down what an amazing father B will be, and I just want to look into the eyes of my child and see the two of us, and become a happy family.
If/when we ever have a child, I will never take it for granted. Ever.
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1 comment:
Aw, I'm so sorry you feel this way. I'm keeping the hope for you!
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