OK, so I haven't really "come out" about my IF. What's hardest is that my Mom doesn't know.
For the first year or so, I really wanted to wait to tell her when we had some good news to share. I know that she and my mother-in-law will be SOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited - they will be over the moon. I have waited so long to be able to tell them, and I know that it will be such a wonderful moment that I will remember forever. If I tell either of them about what we're going through, I know they will worry about me and wish they could help. My Mom's heart will break every time I get bad news, and I don't want to do that to her.
Since she doesn't know, it's nice to talk to my Mom and act "normal". I'm afraid that if she knew, then she would want to talk about it a lot, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for the questions. But on the other hand, on some days when I get bad news it would be nice to talk to my mom and have her support me. Every time I think I might want to tell her, we approach a new cycle/treatment, and I get hopeful that maybe this time I'll get good news, so I don't tell her.
I just want good news to tell her, but I don't know how long I can wait until I will have to tell her what's going on.
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2 comments:
I certainly understand what you mean. I didn't share my first IVF with my mom. It was very hard to keep it from her, but I too wanted to surprise her. After my bfn I called and cried like a baby. She's been great ever since. It is hard not to tell, but you need to do what is best for you (and your sanity!)!
P.S. I've tagged you in my blog! :-)
I understand you not wanting to tell about your IF, it's a hard thing to feel like you're letting people down. But if/when you do decide to tell, I'm sure she will be your biggest cheerleader...mine is :)
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